A very close friend of mine passed away on December 2nd 2013. She suddenly lost her battle with lung cancer just before her 29th birthday. I was and still am heartbroken. We met in high school, hung out all the time in Cegep, went to University together and even stayed close after I moved to New York, she traveled to Australia, met her husband and moved with him to England. I ended our last text conversation 2 days before her death with ” I love you”. I’m so happy that was the last thing I said to her, but I had so much more to say had I known it would be the last time I would talk to her. Actually, I still talk to her, every single day. Sometimes when I think of things that she would find funny, when I need help guidance or just my fucking friend back.
Thida taught me so many things while she was here with us, and even more through her death. I think I finally realized that life is so precious. I know that sounds obvious, and a really lame thing to say. But seriously, through our 20s, I don’t think we realize how precious every single day is. How much we have to appreciate the people we love. Take advantage of everything that we have. We (I) am so lucky to be here on this earth, with so many people that I love. There are hardships every day, my life is by no means perfect. But it is mine, and I am so lucky to be given each and every day. As I’ve said before, I’m trying to move past my fears, to really live each day to it’s fullest. I’m trying new things, meeting new people and doing my best to do all the things that Thida no longer can. I think she would be proud of me for the way I’ve been trying to live my life in the past few months. I’m going to keep making her proud. Thida, that’s a promise.
Last weekend, our close friends and her family went to bring her to the cemetery for her internment. I couldn’t believe it, the priest gave a service on EXACTLY what I had been thinking and working towards. He went on about how we never know what the future holds, to live each day as if it’s our last. (I don’t really do that, because I think if I lived each day as if it was my last, I would do some really crazy things). But, I tell all the people I love, that I in fact love them as much as I can. I hug my niece and nephew for a couple extra seconds. I try to enjoy all of my experiences as much as possible (still a work in progress!!), because we never really know when it will be our last time.
You might ask what any of this has to do with me losing 100lbs. It has EVERYTHING to do with it.